Review: REHAB THE MUSICAL, Neon 194 Piccadilly
Photo credit: Mark Senior
Despite having such a talented company at its disposal, Rehab is a messy attempt at a musical comedy centred around the serious subject of addiction.
That is not to say that writers should be put off finding humour in dark places. But the problem with Rehab, which features a score from Grant Black, is that its execution is sub-standard. While the likes of Maiya Quansah-Breed and Mica Paris provide moments of genuine stardom, the vast majority of songs are forgettable and Elliot Davis’ book is mired in its own exposition.
Set in the late 90s - against the backdrop of Britpop and drugs-fuelled partying - we are introduced to Kid Pop (played by Christian Maynard), a flamboyant young pop star who is probably nowhere near as edgy as he sees himself. He is papped snorting cocaine, landing himself in rehab, via a courtroom scene in which a judge repeatedly brands him a “wanker”, which soon morphs into the show’s most banal number ‘Wanker’ (“wanker, you’re a wanker, comin’ in here, givin’ it large”). This goes on to receive no less than three reprises over the next two-and-a-half hours.
Kid Pop rocks up, overflowing with bad attitude and hostility for his 60 days at The Glade Clinic, where he encounters a smorgasbord of two-dimensional caricatures. There’s Barry Bronze (John Barr), an overly camped-up photographer with a sunbed addiction. Then there’s former Bond girl Jane Killy (Rebecca Thornhill), compulsive eater Phil Newman (Oscar Conlon-Morrey), and Eric Normal (Simon Shorten).
Behind the scenes, Kid Pop - real name Neil - is getting screwed by his manipulative agent Malcolm Stone (Keith Allen). Aided by his assistant Beth (Jodie Steele), the pair set about leaking damning stories to the tabloids, hoping to profit from his misdeeds. Anyone who has seen Steele in Heathers, Bonnie & Clyde or Bat Boy will be well aware of her exquisite vocal abilities, so for her to only get one song here is a huge disappointment. However, it is fair to say that she makes the most of her solo number, ‘Die at 27’.
It follows a powerful duet between Paris and Quansah-Breed (‘Museum of Loss’), which sees the pair belting and riffing in each other’s faces. Despite Black’s lyrics, their voices combine for what proves to be Rehab’s vocal highlight. Meanwhile, Allen and Conlon-Morrey do their best with the comedy moments on offer for them but any belly-laughs are few and far between.
It cannot be stressed enough what an immensely talented group of musical theatre performers that this production has brought together. That is what makes its shortcomings all the more frustrating, with Gary Lloyd’s direction and choreography predictable and unadventurous.
Rehab is playing at Neon 194 in central London. It is a pop-up space but unfortunately not nearly enough consideration has been given to the decision to stage it in-the-round. There are many moments where one side simply cannot see what is happening, while smaller pockets of the audience sitting closer to the action are reacting. Performers are also often left milling around, awkwardly blocking sightlines.
New works of musical theatre should always be encouraged but Rehab is regrettably a misfire. Its stellar cast, in particular Paris and Quansah-Breed, do their utmost and find moments of light. But in the end, the score is not up to much, the book is far too hammy and the direction is clichéd. This is unfortunately a show in need of some rehabilitation of its own.
** Two stars
Reviewed by: Tom Ambrose
Rehab the Musical plays at Neon 194 until 17 February, with tickets available here.