At one point during the infamous libel case levelled by Rebekah Vardy against fellow football ‘WAG’ Colleen Rooney, barrister David Sherborne – attempting to dismiss the case and argue against its public interest - questioned why anyone was present in the courtroom. During the trial, Colleen’s husband Wayne also voiced his opinion that ‘no one wants to be in this court’.

Attending last night’s press performance of Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial, it seemed there were quite a few audience members who agreed with this notion.

Adapted for the stage by Liv Hennessey, Vardy v Rooney is a predominantly verbatim piece, made up of transcripts from the high-profile libel case after Rooney’s online sleuthing to unearth a private Instagram follower leaking stories to the press named Vardy as the culprit. Rooney was dubbed ‘Wagatha Christie’ for her investigation and the ensuing memes that flooded the internet cemented this event as a historical moment for huns the world over.

But a brief flurry of excitement on Twitter doth not an engaging piece of drama make, and although still fresh in many people’s minds, we’d imagine the public interest in this case (concluded in late 2022) is somewhat waning. It is a baffling choice of source material and as there isn’t a huge amount of commentary, interpretation or artistic flair in the staging of this play, it limits itself as a result. 

Courtroom dramas are a tired concept and fundamentally difficult to realise with any excitement on stage. James Graham’s fantastically successful Quiz, which debuted on the West End in 2018, gave movement and innovation to its retelling of the case of the (possibly?) cheating Who Wants To Be A Millionaire contestant Charles Ingram, leaning into the murkier, ambiguous details of the case and actively involving the audience in the trial-cum-gameshow.

There was some attempt at incorporating similar external elements in Vardy v Rooney with the addition of two pundits who the events of the court proceedings for the audience.

Polly Sullivan’s set merges the worlds of the football pitch and the courtroom, although like the play itself the stage space is static and unchanging throughout the two-hour performance, and rather resembles the staid atmosphere of Wimbledon centre court than a pulsing, rowdy football stadium.

The cast are solid, doing as well as they can with an undramatic script and a courtroom setting in which everyone is on their best, formal behaviour at the same even, measured pitch throughout the entire proceedings. Notable mentions go to the leads Lucy May Barker and Laura Dos Santos for their impressions of Vardy and Rooney, as well as Nathan McCullen who doubles as Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy alongside his role as a pundit.

We had a lot of hope for this much-anticipated theatrical event, but were left sorely wanting.

** Two stars

Reviewed by: Livvy Perrett

Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Play runs at the Ambassadors Theatre until 20 May, with tickets available here.